Feb. 13 instantly and forever became Galentine’s Day when Amy Poehler’s intrepid “Parks & Recreation” character Leslie Knope introduced the celebration of platonic love in an episode 13 years ago.
For all the people tired of the often unrealistic romantic ideals attached to Valentine’s Day, here was a chance to recognize friendships that sustain us and say “I love you” in a different way, whether it’s with Leslie’s brunch waffles or an evening out with the girls.
But making and sustaining meaningful friendships isn’t always easy, despite — or maybe because of — the ubiquity of social media, compounded by the isolation of the pandemic.
Building genuine, supportive friendships requires effort, according to Judy Rooney, a licensed clinical social worker and certified mindset and habit coach who works as a therapist at Tri-State Clearwater Medical Clinic in Lewiston.
“It’s important to recognize now that we really need to be more intentional with our relationships,” Rooney said.
She and motivational speaker Wendy Rimmelspacher will lead a workshop Saturday, Feb. 11, examining the need for and complexities of female friendships. "Galentines, Frenemies & the Friendships in Between" is set for 9:30 a.m. at the Stonebraker McQuary Insurance meeting room, 616 Fifth St., in Clarkston. Registration is at bit.ly/GalentinesTalk.
Rooney and Rimmelspacher’s presentation, drawing from the book “The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Study on Happiness” by Marc Schulz and Robert J. Waldinger, explores the rewards and pitfalls of putting yourself out there.
“It’s really being intentional and letting someone know ‘I really care about you. I want to be your friend,’ and to allow yourself to be really vulnerable with that,” Rooney said. “We’re going to talk about how to be a good friend and what it takes — and how to know when you’re in a toxic friendship … (and) how to get out of it.”
The focus is on female friendship, but the concepts cover many different kinds of relationships.
“I think there’s tips that can be generalized to gender-neutral friendships,” she said. “Boundaries, how to be a good friend — that’s gender neutral.”
Rooney shared a few takeaways from the workshop:
- Relationships help sustain our psychological well-being and our physical health, Rooney said, across time and across genders.
“There is an actual physical component to being healthier when we have good relationships,” she said.
- Loneliness has become a global crisis, she said, with 20% to 40% of the population reporting they feel lonely.
“And we know that loneliness is tied to physical health and how long you live.
- Girls and women, especially, often are drawn together by distinct chapters of life: Navigating physical and emotional challenges from puberty to menopause, pregnancy and birth, parenthood, careers and retirement.
“You don’t have to have a best friend throughout life,” Rooney said. “You gravitate towards them for what you need.”
- Entering a new season? It might be time to put yourself out there.
“Join organizations. Volunteer. Be open,” Rooney said.
Rather than going online, she suggests getting out of your home and attending events in person, looking for organizations or activities you enjoy, with likeminded people.
- Another part of friendship is deciding which are worth saving. “We talk about what’s a healthy friendship, what’s an unhealthy friendship,” Rooney said. “And how to get a friend back after you’ve hurt them.”
Stone (she/her) can be reached at mstone@inland360.com.
