Out of My Mindfulness: Gift giving from the inside out

The holiday season often has us hurtling through shopping malls and holiday bazaars, with the determination of a snowball rolling downhill, accumulating speed as we careen toward the new year.
This December, let's flip the script and consider giving something that doesn’t require a gift receipt. Instead, we're going for the good stuff: self-care, rest and the lost art of showing up fully.

Here are my mindful recommendations to help you reframe holiday gift giving and receiving. When you start to feel yourself getting too attached to checking boxes and doing all the things for everyone, remember that you are not your gift list.

The gift of self-care

Picture this: Amid the swirl of holiday chaos, you hand your loved ones a golden ticket — the gift of self-care.

Encourage them to ditch the holiday hustle and indulge in activities that fill their soul. Take mindful walks together, make them a meal, invite them to join you for a yoga class or a visit to a museum. Get together to do a calming hobby; sign them up for an art or writing class or a subscription to a meditation app. If you’re on a budget, you can curate a meaningful list of podcasts you think they might find funny or helpful. If you’re not sure what they need, use the question, “What is something I can give you or do for you this holiday season to help reduce your stress and support you?”

This might look like: letting people know you’re doing things differently this year, and you won't be overbooking yourself or shopping until you drop. “I really want to invest my time and energy in people, activities and places that help you feel relaxed and inspired this holiday season. Do you want to join me for a walk, yoga class or an afternoon of knitting by the fire as your holiday gift?”

Invite your kids to be a part of this process. It might sound like: “I used to be really focused on quantity over quality an d spending my time and money shopping for things people probably didn’t want anyway. Now I’m going to find experiences we can share that will give us time to be together and do something meaningful. What are your suggestions?”


The gift of ease and rest

In a culture that glorifies hustle and places a premium on material possessions, you can choose to be a genuine force for change this holiday season. Giving the gift of rest is an invitation to step off the treadmill of daily obligations, deadlines and our hyperconnected existence.

Giving ease and rest creates a catalyst for a mental downshift — a permission slip to prioritize well-being and enjoy more unhurried moments. It’s a bonus for the environment and your pocketbook if you can regift or thrift a gently used item or, better yet, make it yourself.

This might look like: a beautiful coffee table book, cozy shawl, a journal, a puzzle, board game, massage oil, an eye pillow, an invitation to join you for movie night or a hike — even just a hand-painted “Do not disturb” sign that will inspire your loved one to take some much-needed time for themselves this holiday season.

Include your kids in brainstorming ideas for gifts that help them feel cozy and relaxed, and share what you enjoy as well. Then, and this may be the hardest part for me, be sure to model rest for them. Show them it’s valuable to slow down and create space for stillness, affection, ease and fun.

Show up fully when it feels good to you

Life is too short for obligatory appearances. Gift yourself the freedom to show up fully when you feel inspired and energized, not when the calendar dictates.

The holiday season is packed with myriad opportunities, and if you wanted you could spend each day in December running from various office parties, cookie swaps and tree lighting ceremonies. It’s OK to embrace the Joy Of Missing Out, or JOMO, this year and be intentional about what you will say no and yes to.

This might look like: getting out the calendar and identifying ahead of time the three or four activities and traditions that are really important to you or your family so you can block off the time to do those things. Have a few “maybe” options if you’re feeling up for it.

Then practice saying no to the other stuff so you can reserve your energy for your priorities. It may feel difficult at first to miss the 14 white elephant parties and 27 craft-aculars, but it means you’ll have the time and energy to show up fully when you decorate sugar cookies with your kids, go caroling at the care center and take your kitten to get pictures with Santa.

There was a pivotal point several years ago where I realized that I could continue checking the boxes of obligation and expectation, or I could enjoy the magic of the holidays with the people I love most — but I couldn't do both. It was difficult to break away from the holiday status quo, but I promise every year it gets easier to embrace the JOMO. Giving from the inside out is actually a self-rewarding practice that gives you the space to create more of the memories that matter, instead of just accumulating things and experiences you won't even remember in a few months or years.

Petterson lives in Moscow with her husband and their two children. She left public education to become a yoga instructor, sleep specialist and mindful parenting educator. You can reach out to her and learn more about her yoga classes, sleep programs and parenting classes via her website at kristinepetterson.com.