COMMENTARY: When the luck o’the Irish gives you lemons

Who doesn’t love all things Irish, especially in March? My favorites include potatoes, Celtic dancing (think Riverdance, Michael Flatley and the amazing Gardiner Brothers), Celtic music (Enya), Celtic knot designs, water-resistant Irish wool sweaters, rainbows, shamrocks, leprechauns, the color green and emeralds.

My list would be incomplete if I left out the three Irish men — James Smith, George Taylor and Matthew Thornton — who signed our Declaration of Independence.

Then we have those Irish characteristics like freckles, blue or green eyes, red hair — and luck. I have been blessed with all four, but it hasn’t always felt so lucky to be so Irishy (probably not a word, but I like it).

I was often teased about my freckles, so it’s no surprise I didn’t like them. I find it ironic that today you can purchase makeup tools to apply freckles if you were not blessed with them.

The Irish term for freckles is “póigíní gréine,” which translates to “little kisses from the sun.” I’m sure those who teased me for my freckles were just jealous, right? When you see a child, or an adult, with freckles, be sure to let them know they are extra special because the sun has bestowed little kisses upon their beautiful face.

I was teased not only about my freckles but about my red hair as well. When I got mad, people often said it was because I had red hair, and that always left a sour taste in my mouth. My interpretation was that anger was a bad thing to feel. So what did I do? I quit getting mad. Or rather, I quit showing my anger. I stuffed it all down, turned it off, eliminated the evidence of it. And that is not a good thing to do. It is not healthy, and I do not recommend it.

In addition to suppressing my anger, I also hated my hair, especially the color. It was not until I was about 50 years old that I actually began to appreciate my red hair.

Like hair color, emotions are not good or bad: They just are. Emotions are natural and need to be normalized. How wonderful it is to be with people who accept us and all of our emotions? Accepting ourselves and our own emotions is a great place to start — then we can begin to accept and embrace those around us.

It is important to be aware of how we react to feeling strong or intense emotions. If our actions, our words, our tone or the volume of our voice frightens other people (or our pets), we likely need to learn to express those strong emotions in a safer, healthier way.

Just like it’s not healthy to totally suppress our emotions, it’s not healthy for them to be out of control and running the show. We all have the right to feel safe, regardless of the emotions someone else is feeling at the moment. Please contact your medical provider or a trusted counselor if you notice you lose control and frighten others when you experience certain emotions.

As adults, we have a responsibility to help children in our lives learn how to express their emotions in a safe and healthy manner, too. A great way to do this is to regularly check in to see what they are feeling and how intense those emotions are, remembering it’s never helpful to tell someone they shouldn’t feel a certain way.

As we prepare for St. Patrick’s Day and the opportunity to embrace our inner Irish spirit (I’ll be making sweet s’mores with green Peeps and dark chocolate), let’s take time to celebrate all of our many emotions, as varied as the colors of a beautiful spring rainbow.

Hays lives on the Camas Prairie with her son. She operates Heartwork Healing Coach, using art, play and somatic movement to guide people through emotional healing. She can be reached through her website at heartworkhealingcoach.com.