For those missing the voices of friends, family and community this holiday, Inland 360 readers have prepared a special song for you.

We challenged readers to rewrite the lyrics of a well-known holiday song or traditional carol for 2020. This week we present our favorites, songs we think best capture this moment in time and reflect the thoughts and feelings of countless people. They are best enjoyed sung aloud.

Two winners will receive a $25 gift card to a local business: Steve and Lucien Holmes of Clarkston for their version of “Ding Dong Merrily on High” and Daniel Bechtel of Moscow for “Carol of the Bells 2020.”

As always, thank you to everyone who took the time to send in their work. We even got a video (see “We’re Stuck at Home for the Holidays”).

"Ding Dong Merrily on High, 2020"

To the tune of "Ding Dong Merrily on High."

By Steve and Lucien Holmes, Clarkston

(Hope and expectation)

Ding dong merrily on high

Is that my doorbell dinging

Ding dong merrily on high

To my front door I'm springing

Glo-o-o-o-o-o-ria

Jehovah's Witness ringing.

(Commercialism)

Ding dong merrily on high

More ads to sink your teeth in

Ding dong merrily on high

The prices have us seethin'

Glo-o-o-o-o-o-ria

Now Christmastime is heathen.

(2020 Malaise)

Ding dong merrily on high

These end times aren't desirous

Ding dong merrily on high

Nobody now will hire us

Glo-o-o-o-o-o-ria

We have coronavirus.

(Distractions)

Ding dong merrily on high

We'll have a turkey dinner

Ding dong merrily on high

My waistline is not thinner

Glo-o-o-o-o-o-ria

Who was the bowl game winner?

(Chaos)

Ding dong merrily on high

The kitchen smoke is murky

Ding dong merrily on high

The dog ate all the turkey

Glo-o-o-o-o-o-ria

Now all that's left is jerky.

(Surrender)

Ding dong merrily on high

Drunk uncles there are many

Ding dong merrily on high

More booze there isn't any

Glo-o-o-o-o-o-ria

Let’s just go eat at Denny’s.

“Carol of the Bells 2020”

To the tune of “Carol of the Bells.”

By Daniel Bechtel, Moscow

Shoppers in rows 

For grills and hoes

At Home Depot

And Costco.

Before it snows

And stores are closed

Porch pirates here

Stealing your cheer.

Ding-dong, ding-dong

That is the song

Hooligans ditch

It’s such a ... (Oh, oh, ah). 

Santa is near 

COVID strikes fear 

From everywhere (from everywhere)

Filling the air.

Oh, how they floss (Oh, how they floss)

Packages tossed 

Onto your porch 

With greatest force. 

Bitter cold sting 

While Rudolph drinks all your good beer

Christmas is here.

Scary, Scary, Scary, COVID Christmas

Hairy, Hairy, Hairy, Hairy Christmas.

On on they send

On without end 

Their coughing tones 

To every home. 

Ah, ah, ah.

Ding-dong, ding-dong.

Ding-dong, ding-dong.

Bark goes the dog (Bark goes the dog)

Lost in thick fog

All hope is gone (All hope is gone)

Car’s in the lawn 

(Stuck until the light of dawn).

Christmas is here 

Hold family dear 

We’re almost through 

This year’s been poo.

Oh hear the sound (Oh hear the sound)

New Year abounds 

O’er this year’s fail

Ending this tale. 

Daily News brings

News of all things 

Christmas is here. 

Scary, scary, scary, COVID Christmas 

Hairy, hairy, hairy, hairy Christmas. 

On on they send 

On without end 

Credit card bills

Giving us chills. 

Ah, ah, ah.

“(We’re Stuck at) Home for the Holidays”

To the tune of "(There's No Place Like) Home for the Holidays."

By members of the Cherry Sisters Revival: Gary Scheer, Tracie Breslford, Connie Steiger; Pullman. See the band perform the song on YouTube at: www.bit.ly/360stuckathome.

 

Oh, we’re stuck at home for the holidays

This year we can't gather; we can't roam

When you long for the sunshine of a friendly gaze

For the holidays you can’t leave home, sweet home.

 

I Zoomed a man who lives in Tennessee, and he was longin' for

Pennsylvania and some homemade pumpkin pie

From Pennsylvania folks miss travelin' down to Dixie's sunny shore

From Atlantic to Pacific

Gee, the lockdown is horrific.

 

When we're shopping for groceries at our local store

We wear masks and we stay six feet apart

But there’s always that one jerk at the super mart

He’s got a mask on, but his nose is hangin’ out.

 

We used to eat out in the restaurants

But now we just order take-a-way

No longer can we linger over pork chow mein

For the holidays, there’s just one place we stay.

Oh, we’re stuck at home for the holidays

This year we can't gather; we can't roam

When you long for the sunshine of a friendly gaze

For the holidays you can’t leave home, sweet home.

 

I Zoomed my neighbor who lives right next door

She was telling me she hasn't hugged her folks in nine long months or more

And my own children haven't seen my face, except on their iPhone screens

Let me be specific

This lockdown is horrific.

 

Oh, we’re stuck at home for the holidays

No matter how much we want to roam

When we long for the sunshine of a friendly face

For the holidays — we're stuck; stuck here at home    

For the holidays — we're stuck in our damn home.

“COVID The Nasty Virus” 

To the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

By Karen Karpman, Pullman 

COVID the nasty virus 

Frightened everyone in sight 

Spreading its toxic payload 

Every day and every night.

All of the people scattered 

Wearing masks or staying home 

Missing their friends and loved ones 

Told it wasn't safe to roam.

Then the clouds began to part 

When Fauci came to say, 

“Vaccines will be flowing soon

And you'll be on your way.” 

All of the people smiled

Thinking of the coming year 

Streets would be filled with patrons 

Young and old would have no fear.

Still this year's woes will haunt us 

Empty places in our hearts

Hope lessons learned will save us 

If and when the next plague starts.

“Oh Amazon”

To the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree.”

By Cheryl Flory, Lewiston (*See author note below.)

Oh Amazon, oh Amazon

How lovely are your boxes

Oh Amazon, oh Amazon

How lovely are your boxes.

Delivery comes just in time

To make the day for Christmastime

Oh Amazon, oh Amazon

How lovely are your boxes.

Let us in times of quarantine

And masks and social distancing

Remember that the gifts you bring

Show heartfelt love and caring.

*Caution: Only sing out loud in a family pod, or socially distanced in an outdoor venue with a mask of two layer, tightly woven, cotton material or an N95 mask. Singing alone to the moon in the backyard at night is acceptable, but probably not to the neighbors. Merry Christmas.

“Covi, the Big Bad Virus”

To the tune of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”

by Julie Garton-Good, Lenore

Covi, the big bad virus

Hurt a lot of folks this year

No remorse and no regretting

Ruthless dude, evoking fear.

 

Some folks, they thought him folly

Just another “fake news” game

When people started dropping

Reality hit — he was NOT tame!

 

Then one cold and wintry night

He picked up his speed

When death numbers climbed way up

Covi grabbed a fateful lead.

 

All disease can be quite scary

Morphing into mystery

Covi, the big bad virus

You’ll go down in history!

“All I Want for Christmas is a New Vaccine”

To the tune of “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth.”

by Mary Flores, Moscow

(Author note: The first verse is rarely recorded, but it is part of the original.)

Everybody stays 6 feet from me

My two front teeth are gone but you can’t see

Behind my mask, some teeth are absentee

But still I wish from this face mask to be free.

All I want for Christmas is a new vaccine

A scientific vaccine

An FDA-approved vaccine

Gee, if I could only have a safe vaccine

Then I could visit you at Christmas!

It’s been so long since I could see

If you are smiling back at me

Gosh, oh gee, how happy I’d be, to smile in reciprocity!

So

All I want for Christmas is a new vaccine

A scientific vaccine

An FDA-approved vaccine

Gee, if I could only have a safe vaccine

Then I could visit you at Christmas!

“I’ll Be Home for Christmas 2020”

To the tune of “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.”

By Teresa Groom, Grangeville

 

I’ll be home for Christmas 

Sadly you will, too

We’ve been here almost a year

Caused by this COVID flu.

Christmas Eve we’ll all be

Home and quarantined

We’ll be home for Christmas

Oh, bring us the vaccine!

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